Be the One: Just Call, Girlfriend!

September 8, 2013

By Diane Gage Lofgren

A few months ago, I was shocked when my girlfriend called, “Just to say, Hi.” She had never done that before.

Woman on PhoneWe had been friends for more than five years, but we always planned our connection points — be it a walk, movie or lunch — and we did that by email or text. But this day, she just wanted to hear my voice, to touch base, to connect.

I was stunned and honored. We didn’t have to have something planned to have a meaningful conversation. No longer did we have to wait to see each other to catch up. Her call brought us closer.

It sounds really simple, but in a digital world, voice-to-voice communication can be so reassuring, yet rare. Real-time feedback with emotion and inflection–that doesn’t come from a symbol on our smart phone–is a treat

After that surprise call, I had to wonder, “Why hadn’t I done that before? Why would a simple call come so naturally with my sisters or a few girlfriends but not with others?”

Perhaps it’s just force of habit that patterns get set. Thank goodness my friend was willing to break the pattern that day. Now I call her just to check in. I don’t need a reason to say, “Hi, I was thinking of you and thought I’d call.”

And for goodness sake, if she’s busy she’ll tell me. I don’t need to take it personally or as a sign not to try again.

The beauty of reaching out, though, is what can happen next. A call can lead to hearing something new she discovered, something she wants you to be part of, or something you can help her with.

And if I can call this one friend just to check in, I bet I can do that with other friends — and so can you!

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