Make new friends and keep the old. It sounds so easy. So why does that an initial outreach to a potential friend seem so daunting?
When we see or meet a woman who could be a possible friend, that’s the time to ignore self-doubt—flat out! Be gutsy. Bold. Don’t question whether you’ll have enough in common or imagine any sort of rejection. Avoid excuses like, “I’m shy.” “She doesn’t seem interested,” or “I don’t have time.” Purposely have your future in mind and know that you are worth it.
It doesn’t really take much to find a connection point with another woman – even someone who seems different on the surface. Women engage on so many levels! Strike up a conversation by relating to a physical object, a quality you notice, or the people/circumstances that brought you together. It could be her haircut, unique eyewear or cool purse…the children or grandchildren she’s with…or your businesses or the speaker at a conference you both attended. Don’t worry if it’s pithy, intelligent or thought provoking. Chances are she’ll be flattered you took the time and courage to break the ice.
So why do we hesitate in reaching out? Most likely, we’re succumbing to negative self talk. Some studies have shown that of our 50,000 thoughts a day 70 to 80 percent are negative. That’s a horrible ratio – one that we need to reverse if we’re going to get over ourselves and discover each other.
We implore you not to let that moment pass when you meet someone you’d like to get to know better. Just like in dating, you may not get a second chance. The one you let get away could have opened your mind and your world. She might have been your soul-quencher, travel partner, confidant, or someone who lightens your world with laughter.
Next time you see or meet a would-be friend, make a connection! Then after you do, ask for her email or phone number so you can reach out and set a date to get to know one another better. Then, make it happen!
You know you want to and we know you can!
–Diane and Margaret