Letting Go – Knowing When

March 27, 2013

When I was in second grade I met Nicole. I was the shy and quiet new kid; she was fearless and was friends with everyone. We instantly became inseparable. Even after I moved 30 minutes away to another town, we saw each other almost every weekend.

Nicole and I remained the best of friends until she moved to my town and started at the same high school. We had always been opposites, but that’s what made us great. We complemented one another. However, by our sophomore year we rarely spent time together and had completely different and separate groups of friends. And we only grew further apart when I began dating my high school sweetheart. He and Nicole simply did not get along in the least. In our senior year Nicole and I became slightly closer again as we transitioned out of our high school cliques. But the closeness lasted only about a year. We had a falling out over something so insignificant I can hardly remember the issue.

About three years later my relationship with a man I loved very much ended. I had let a lot of my friendships go while I was in the relationship and realized I would need the support of my friends to help me through what was a very difficult time in my life. Among the friends I reached out to was Nicole. I had hopes of regaining the friendship I once held so dear.

Although we reconnected, again it was for a short time. This time was different though. I realized she was no longer the girl I had tea parties with and spent late nights giggling about boys with. And although we used to laugh about being old ladies living next door to one another that simply was never going to happen. I realized she did not care about supporting me, only about what I could do for her. As much as it hurt to truly let the friendship go once and for all, I knew I deserved a better type of friend.

Sometimes it is difficult to say goodbye but knowing when a friendship is no longer healthy is important. Although I cherish the memories of my childhood friend, I would rather spend my time building relationships with friends who support and care about me.


Amanda Scarborough

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *