Making New Girlfriends by Kicking Self-Doubt to the Curb

September 22, 2013

by Diane Gage Lofgren

Find FriendsStarting the engine of a new friendship can seem daunting. Sometimes we just don’t know what to do when we meet a woman with whom we think have a lot in common. Often, self-doubt sinks in, and we error on the side of not taking action. The trepidation we feel and the courage we need to muster are probably similar to how it feels asking someone out on a first date. And if we are not mindful, the opportunity slips by.

It takes fortitude and a little hutzpah to be the first one to reach out! And just like in any relationship, we have to understand that even if we find the confidence to make the first move, the timing may not be right for our would-be friend. But when the time is right, the beauty of taking this risk is that it usually pays of in a new, possibly lifetime, friend!

The next time we interact with a woman of kindred spirit, here are a few things we can do to allow us to take the next step – explore the possibility of friendship.

1) Tell her how much you enjoyed meeting her, and ask if you can call or email her to get together for coffee or a walk.

2) Hand her your card and say you sure would like to get to know her better and then ask if she has a card with her.

3) Ask if she is on Facebook or LinkedIn and get her full name. Later, connect on that social channel with a private note.

4) If you share a mutual friend or acquaintance, suggest that three of you get together for lunch or dinner. That allows you to explore your connection more in a safe environment.

5) Ignore all the negative self-talk feeding you excuses to not reach out!

Be bold. Be gutsy. And never forget how good you’ll make someone feel when they know you enjoyed their company or that you find them interesting, fun, or adventuresome enough want to be their friend!

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