Starving Our Inner Critic

November 13, 2012

Diane just returned from a businesswomen’s conference where two speakers ultimately pointed out that women, more than men, have powerful negative internal voices that often prevent us from getting what we know we want and need. This censor often tells us we’re not good enough, not worthy, not ready, not experienced…you get it.

One speaker told a story based on a Cherokee Indian legend of a woman who wears a broach comprised of two opposing wolves–one tame and friendly; the other fierce and ugly. When asked why she wears it, the woman replies, “It reminds me that the one that lives is the one I feed!”

Why our gender is prone to feed the detractor in our heads is beyond our expertise. But what we do know is we can help each other stop it! As friends, sisters, mothers, and colleagues, we can build each other up, allow each other to see our full potential, and starve that ugly wolf from stealing our dreams.

When you hear a friend say she can’t, tell her why she can! When you see someone recoil from an opportunity, encourage her to quiet her excuse maker and go for it. What does she have to lose? When we try, even if we have to try again, it builds our self-confidence and teaches us so much. It shows others that we believe in ourselves. It reinforces that we are worthy. Deserving and ready. Confident that even if our outcomes are not what we ultimately want, we will continue to work at it until we reach our goal.

And, when you hear that ugly wolf howling in your own ear, stop it in its tracks. Replace negative messages with positive ones. Call a friend and talk things through. What are you really afraid of? What’s stopping you? Unless we get to the core fear, we may not change. Having a thought partner is what friends are for!

Let’s stand up for ourselves and for all the women in our lives by knowing that when we walk in our power, we can make a huge difference in the world. We are worth investing in! So let’s starve the inner critic and feed the cheerleader and the friends who support her! We can to do it!

–Diane & Margaret

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