Stop Sizing Up Friends and Look for Commonality

April 25, 2014

By Diane Gage Lofgren & Margaret Bhola

imageWe know that the real measure of life’s success is the relationships we build…not the positions we hold or the places we’ve been. What really counts in life is the people we’ve touched in a positive way and those who have left their imprint on our heart. So when it comes to choosing new friends or rekindling old ones, pay attention to what really matters! Let go of any preconceived notions or mental checklists, and listen to your intuition and heart.

Ah…if it were only as easy to do as it is to say. We all have relationship wounds…some have healed over and others continue to mend and sometimes the indiscretions–discretions of our past can prevent us from investing in new friendships. The fear of being hurt, of not measuring up to someone else, and of not having the time to give to others can dampen our ability to reach out.

It’s not who we know that counts but who fills our lives with meaning, adds goodness and light, and helps us to know ourselves even better. Good friends, those who want to be with us for our companionship and personality (the good, bad and ugly), do not care what job we hold, where we live, or what circles we travel in. They love us because when we’re with them, their lives seem brighter, more fulfilled, more fruitful. We bring a knowing, a sense of understanding, and when we give advice, it is not in judgment, but with their best interests at heart.

We all know what we want in a friend. Sometimes it’s being that kind of supportive, caring person in return that’s the most difficult. With practice and employing the art of the apology for when we do fall short, we can be the kind of friend we want to have!

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